IELTS-G 14 Writing test 4 task 1-2

Hint

SAMPLE ANSWER

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.

Dear Mr.Tremain,

I saw your concert recently at Manchester Hall and I thought your performance was very touching and excellent. I felt deeply connected with the lyrics in your songs.I am a current music student at Oxford university and our school is having a musical performance next week.The play relates well to your latest song and I would be very grateful if you can help with me musical activities by providing a more detail insight to your lyric.Also,could you give us some tips about performing as this is our first performance.By giving an insight to your lyric,our drama and musical team a deeper connection to the song, which is what we really need.I hope I am not asking for too much.My team really looks up to you and it would mean the world if you write back.

Thank you for reading this letter and I hope to hear from you soon.

Your Sincerly,

Here is the examiner’s comment:

The candidate covers all three bullet points, but there is room for development of the ideas presented. There is an overall progression in the response,  but it could be improved by using separate paragraphs for each topic.The range of vocabulary is sufficient for the task,with some attempts at less common items [lyrics I insight] and with only a few mistakes in spelling and word form [greatful I gratefu丨l detail I detailed], though more specific vocabulary would improve the writing [the play I performance?]. Both simple and complex sentence structures are used, with some accuracy, but there appears to be a missing section [our drama and musical team (would obtain?) a deeper connection to the song].

Hint

MODEL ANSWER

This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer.However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible approaches.

Nowadays many people work long hours,leaving them little time for leisure activities.There are some advantages in this situation,but personally I feel there are more disadvantages.The advantages include the possibility of earning more money,if the employer pays overtime for extra hours worked.This can be a real bonus if someone is saving with a particular goal in mind: a holiday,for example,or saving to buy a house or flat. Another advantage might be that more time spent at work enables a more thorough knowledge and understanding of the job.Some professions such as law and accountancy require familiarity with a wide range of rules and requirements and these cannot all be learned through study;they have to be learned on the job.For younger people there is also the sheer stimulus of being involved in something they enjoy,so that they do not object to,or count,the hours they spend at work.

Unfortunately,if people do not have enough time to relax,there are quite major risks associated with this.Health often suffers,either physically or mentally,and sometimes both.Taking time out for physical leisure activities has positive effects on health through the release of chemicals that make us feel better both physically and mentally. Other leisure activities may involve spending time with a group of people activating skills other than those used at work and thus encouraging supportive social networks.

Friendships can also be weakened because of not making enough time to stay in touch,but using only a little of your free time to have a meal or go to the cinema with someone helps to maintain that friendship.Listening to your friend’s problems,or talking through your own,reinforces your relationship with them,as well as allowing you to switch off mentally from the things that have been happening at work.This ‘distancing’ from work helps you to get things back into perspective and can sometimes help you to find solutions to matters that have been bothering you.

Within a family situation a partner may feel neglected if the other one spends long hours away at work,or a child may feel neglected because mummy/daddy is never around for birthdays,school performances or a vital sports match.This lack of involvement is a major contributor to family breakdown,which in turn has wider repercussions in our society.

Work is a major part of our lives and it is to be hoped that many find it enjoyable,challenging and stimulating,but it is important to recognise the need for a work-life balance and to ensure that this is put into practice.